However, sometimes I
Something about the care and precision it requires to be the designated Capri Sun Opener makes me feel like a phlebotomist.
|Professional Talk Show Audience Member.|
I hoped with every step inside Walmart that Oprah would show up and buy me the diapers ... except when I was in the checkout line, and then I hoped she would buy me the diapers and a Snickers bar.
|This is not me. But can you imagine how quickly my|
kids would listen to me if it was? "Eve, clean your
room." Stuff would get done, y'all.
After tonight's episode of American Idol, I firmly believe my life would be cooler with pyrotechnics and a fog machine.
7 year old Eve sang (with perfect intonation) the third, fifth, seventh, and octave above the sound of our neighbors leaf blower. I think I teared up in pride.
Totally just medaled in the Awesome Olympics for making vegan shortbread cookies. That's right, vegan shortbread cookies. Best. Mom. Ever.
|Criminal. Like arresting the Easter Bunny.|
If you ever want to know what it feels like to be treated like a criminal, just try returning something to Meijer without a receipt. I almost offered to take a polygraph test. Sheesh.
Got out the Merck's Manual and looked under "Causes of heart attacks" for "Hey, Mom! Watch me do a somersault down this fifteen foot high twisty slide" and it wasn't listed. I'm thinking of writing the publisher ...
My conversation at the grocery store.
"No, they aren't in season. We aren't paying $3.49 for a pound of strawberries."
"But they look so goooooooood."
"I know. They've probably been grown somewhere warm and shipped a million miles to look that good."
"And they smell so good. Please can we get them?"
"No. That's enough. Let's go."
Did I mention I was by myself?
Business Acumen = I have it. Have a great weekend - see y'all Monday!