Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Friday, November 2, 2012

How to Lose Ten Pounds

Happy Fitness Friday! (Fitness Friday?  The heck did that come from?) I know, it's like I'm the master of the bait and switch.  Y'all were expecting another Foreign Language Friday, where I explain some of the terminology used in the Fitness World.  Recent Foreign Language Fridays have defined burpees, plank position, mountain climbers, and a bunch of upper body strength and conditioning exercises.  But today, fresh off a week long vacation at Disney World, I think instead Imma update you on my fitness.  Or, lack thereof.

Remember my sour cream and cheddar epiphany?  The one where I discovered I gained ten lovely pounds after I finished my triathlon training?  I took some time before the great Disney pig out vacation to get my food intake under control and really planned out my workouts at the gym.  I stopped just showing up and going through the motions and started working out to a systematic plan that pushed me a lot more.  And, as expected, it paid off.  I lost five of those pounds before the trip.

Turns out that this was a good thing, because in one week at Disney I gained six pounds.  (Which? Technically is only one pound, right?  Because let's pretend I didn't lose those five. To gain six more on top of that would put me up 16 from my triathlon weight. But really, I'm only up ONE teensy little pound from my weight three weeks ago ... which is actually up 11 from my triathlon weight. So, yeah, I don't really buy it either.)

How does one gain six pounds in a week spent mostly walking  Well, first invest in the Disney meal plan.  Then decided early on how you are going to handle temptations, check out menus to make the best choices, and finally, when you get there, abandon all prior planning and rationale because "DUDE - I'm on vacation." (Blame it on the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cheesecake.)

Also, set completely reasonable vacation running goals, set your vacation alarm clock to start your day with a lovely Florida sunrise run, and discover that just because it is 40 degrees warmer than it is at home doesn't make it any less dark at 6:30 a.m.  As much as my schooling in the D (that's Detroit for all you non-Michiganders) prepared me for being a tough girl while I run alone, it taught me to beware the Scary Raper Dude, not the Too Tame Wildlife that Disrespect My Spacial Boundaries that reside in the resort we visited. (Totally not saying I expected to get attacked by an alligator.)(Although I read they're not fast if you run in a zigzag.)(But that's probably something Floridians tell Mid-westerners so we'll look ridiculous when being chased by alligators.)(Which probably happens more than you think.)(Because Mid-westerners are impressed by that sort of thing.)(Wild alligators, not running in a zigzag.)(Although we do play Dizzy Bat, so, yeah.)

(*I may have just taken a 45 minute blogging break to watch Dizzy Bat videos on YouTube. Hardcore giggling ensued.  I'm counting it as an ab workout tonight.*)

My point is that it was just too dark to run in the woods in the morning.  And by the time we got home from the parks, it was too dark in the evening.  So, a huge exercise fail on my part.

So what's next?  Am I just going to chill out with my extra eleven pounds?  Heck no.  This is the plan:

1. Stay within my calorie budget and be accountable using my food journal.  I've talked about this before but I follow a zigzag calorie plan (not because I'm a Mid-westerner who likes Dizzy Bat)(they're totally not related at all) which allows me an average of 1600 calories a day.  I change up my daily calorie totals so that my body is kept guessing; my body is all like, "Dude, I was expecting her to eat 1600 calories yesterday but she only ate 1300, and today she pounded 1900.  WHAT IS GOING ON?"  But I know in my head that I have averaged 1600 calories a day, and if I do this I will keep myself not only from plateauing but also from going on a binge.  Everybody wins.  Especially my poor, confused body.

2. Make an exercise plan to make sure I get my training in with Eve for the Turkey Trot, but also commit to more strength training, because since my triathlon season is over my guns have taken some serious hits.  I also noticed last night that Sarah is seriously kicking my tush in the pool.  She is training for her full length IRONMAN and she put in 2700 yards this past Monday.  I put in nothing for almost two weeks.  I was happy to be done at 1300 yards.  Delighted, even.  And Sarah is so much faster.  I need to add another swim day so I don't lose all my hard work.  So here is my tentative workout schedule:

Monday: Boot Camp and Ab Lab (or swim if Brian gets home too late for me to make Boot Camp)
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: Run with Eve; strength training
Thursday: Weight Workout and swim with Sarah
Friday: Run with Eve
Saturday: Ab Lab, swim? (I don't know about this yet.  Our Saturdays are so busy right now.)
Sunday: Run with Eve; strength training

I totally want to dominate those eleven pounds before Christmas.  I want to enjoy the season and all, but not so much that I begin to look like Santa Claus, youknowwhatI'msayin'?

In conclusion, Disney was delicious, but now it's time to return to reality.  And I have to realize that the return to responsible eating will be just as rude as the return to 45 degree weather. What do you do for damage control?  Let me know, I appreciate any help I can get.


  1. You've inspired me! I'm trying to lose 25 lbs. I'm working up from an major ankle injury, so the going is slow, I'm going to persevere!

    P.S. I am convinced that they put cocaine in the funnel cakes at Disney. At least that is my logical reason for why I ate 3. In one day. Le sigh.

    Following! :-)

    1. Awesome! I specialize in slow-going, so you are in good company. I think you are totally on to something with the cocaine funnel cakes ... did you happen to see the funnel cake stand that serves soft-serve ice cream on TOP of the funnel cake? Genius. Welcome to my blog, and thanks for following!

  2. Hello! I got your blog from Andrew Geisler, he said you may be interested in working with us on the Pretty Muddy Women's mud run. Can you email me? Courtney(at)CourtneyNorman(dot)org


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