Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Beauty and The Beast

Hello, Beauty.  Fancy meeting you again.
It's been a long time since yesterday.
Happy Foreign Language Friday!  Today is the day where I take some time to explain some of the words and phrases found only in the fitness world so that the next time you hear someone talk about "plank position" you don't immediately think of pirates. (Which is actually a shame.  Because who wants to miss out on a chance to think of pirates?)

I must have started four different posts for today.  I was having the hardest time concentrating.  I would get about two paragraphs in and completely lose steam about whatever it was I was blogging, only to start over and have the same thing happen again. Guess why I couldn't concentrate?  My freaking lower body is a hot mess of pain.  You must be thinking in horror, "But why, Kel?"  Two words: walking lunges.  And then I realized:  I have my topic for Foreign Language Friday!

I would do anything to get out of lunges.  They are by far my least favorite exercise.  I hate every form of lunges, which is why I never do them if given a choice.  That is why fitness classes are so valuable to me; I constantly work my body differently and harder than I would by myself.  This week I had two instructors with one track minds: walking lunges unto death.  And now that I've totally talked them up and you are psyched to try them yourself:

How do you do a walking lunge?

 Hello, BEAST.  (Dumbbells optional)
Stand with your legs shoulder width apart.  Step forward with the first leg.  Land on your heel and then your forefoot. Lower your body by bending the knee of the front leg until the knee of your back leg is almost in contact with floor. Return to standing position.  Repeat using the other leg.

Why should you torture yourself this way?  Lately I've been really conscious of my booty; specifically the way it jiggles when I run.  Lunges work your glutes* (think "butt") and your hamstrings (think back of the thighs), so they will help tone (i.e. tighten it up) that area.

(*Glutes = story for free.  My children learn a lot of vital information from me.  Including, but not limited to, the definition of a "verp".  I also think it's really important to teach them to be good stewards of their bodies by embarking on a variety of fitness endeavors, and so I often include them when I'm doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or morning yoga stretches.  This is why Esther knows how to um ... flex her glutes.  She frequently completely stops all activity, concentrates really hard, and says in delight, "I'm workin' my GLUTES!" as she squeezes her little tush together.  Abso-glutely adorable.)(Did you see what I did there?)(*giggle*)

Lunges are also good for your hamstrings and quads (think front of the thighs).  If you want to be a faster runner, building strength in those muscles is the way to do it.  If running isn't your thing remember Black Friday is right around the corner and running is not a bad skill to have in your corner for that day lunges are still helpful in increasing core strength as you have to fight to keep your balance during execution.  (Doesn't that totally sound like more pirate talk?)(Coincidentally you can also do a form of walking lunges in plank position.)(Actually they are more like mountain climbers.)(But it is still as hard as it sounds.)(My awesome Boot Camp instructor makes us do them adding a push up on every step.)(I should be a beast at this point.)(But I'm not because I counter all this intense exercise with healthy doses of Iced Capp from Tim Horton's.)(I think that's their new motto;  Tim Horton's: So You're Not a Beast.)

(Weight Loss Update:  I've lost four of the eleven pounds so far.  YAY!)

E'rbody have a wonderful weekend.  Do some walking lunges.  Or not.  But definitely enjoy some Tim Horton's.  (I'm pretty sure I should be on payroll there.) See y'all Monday!


  1. Oh, lunges... I hate them! When I was doing the Wii Active 30-Day Challenge, I dreaded the leg days because I knew I'd have to do at least a hundred lunges in all different forms. The worst are the jumping lunges, where you lunge forward, and then jump up and switch legs. Good God, that hurt.

    Congrats on your weight loss!!

    1. Thanks, congrats to you as well! My tush is still feeling the pain. I always have to psych myself up for jumping lunges. It usually helps to pretend to be the Karate Kid. And maybe scream "High-ya!" as you win some kind of master tournament. Feel free to use that method of coping ;-)

  2. I HATE lunges. But not as much as I hate planks. OMG, I HATE planks. And worse - side planks. I did P90X last year and it was all planks, all the time, during some of the workouts. Blech. Congrats on the 4 lbs though! Wonderful and good for you! :-)

    1. Thanks! How did you like P90X? Did it hurt your knees? I want to try it but I've heard it's hard on your joints. What did you think?

      P.S. I love me some planks. I'll do your planks for you if you take one for the team and do some of my lunges. I'm pretty sure that's how exercise works.

    2. I really loved it. It can be hard on your joints, but he's really thorough in cautioning you about that and giving you instructions to reduce joint stress, so I never had any problems. He also gives you modifications. I really loved it. It's hard as balls the first 3-4 weeks, and I didn't get ripped like in the pictures (then again, I had a lot more to lose, haha), but my body did change shape and I got a lot stronger.

      I'll trade you planks for lunges anyday, lady. :-)


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