Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Sour Cream and Cheddar. A Delicious Epiphany.

I didn't notice it right away (really it took about two months) but "suddenly" my pants were tight.  I hopped on the scale and freaked the heck out to discover I had gained TEN pounds since the triathlon.

That's right.  TEN.

It turns out that eating like you're training for a triathlon is actually helpful while you are training for a triathlon, but afterwards?  Not so much.

That discovery of the bulge was about two weeks ago.  Since then I have been super diligent about my diet and exercise and will weigh myself in two weeks to see how I'm faring.  If I do it before then and I see any positive movement on the scale I get all "IT'S WORKING" (I say this like I'm Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China) and then slack off.

So, I'm staying on "budget" with my calories, pushing my inner gym rat to go hard ... life is good, right?

It's never that simple.

Have you ever gotten in a fight with one of your kids?  Like, they're being all "I'm a kid and I'm gonna try and challenge your authority all freaking day and then I'm gonna take my anger out on all my siblings because my life is so hard because you asked me to wipe down the kitchen table when it wasn't even my turn and you are being so unfair that you would take away tv time/Wii/computer time and expect me to just PLAY OUTSIDE?"  And you respond by being all, "I'm not going to engage in this with you because I'm an adult who knows better than to participate in a battle of wills with my own child because that will never prove my authority but since you just left the room and mumbled something passive aggressively under your breath that I totally didn't hear but could ascertain that whatever you said was completely disrespectful now I'm totally going to engage because my pride demands I have the last word."  And the pair of you are now off on an awfully awful exchange.

Now I'm not saying that ever went down at my house, especially not yesterday in the early afternoon, but if it did it would've been a prime time for me to take the opportunity to eat my feelings.  And I did.  I was feeling slightly ice creamy, a little sour cream and cheddar chippy, and a lot iced coffee-ey.  That's approximately 450 calories of feelings.  To clarify, Monday is my lowest calorie day on the zig-zag calorie plan, so I only had 1300 calories total.  Monday is the worst day possible for me to be all "Forget you, Responsible Eating Plan."

But it happened anyway.  And I knew the rest of the day was going to be an avalanche of deliciousness as I allowed myself the quantities and combinations of food I have been successfully keeping at bay for two weeks.

Then I had an epiphany.

I was at Boot Camp later that day (where I burn around 550-600 calories for the hour - hoorah!).  I was in plank position (where I do my best calculating) and realized that my binge wasn't that huge, and my "I totally screwed up today anyway, so I am going to stop by McD's for a giant Big Mac and fries and maybe even real Coke on the way home from the gym" plan wasn't really necessary.  In fact, I hadn't even really screwed up all that bad in terms of calories; it was more the lack of self-control I was upset about.  My McD's plan is what really would have wrecked me.

I never do this with money.  If I shouldn't spend any money and I buy a pair of shoes, I never go drop $500 at the mall "because I already messed up."  How stupid is that?  But I still think like that with food.  Duh.

Epiphany.  Hey, Kel, stop and think before you do any more damage than the initial damage done.  Word.

Do any of you struggle with this?  What thoughts/actions help you?


  1. This totally happens to me! Except my justifications last for more like a week. Or so. Usually I need some kind of event to turn me around. Like the Caribbean at Christmas.(yay!!!) I throw a little party (in my head) for every positive choice I make... like drinking a 7.5 oz can of coke instead of a large. Little choices turn into big choices and bigger parties (in my head)!

    1. I love the little choices party! And ... are you really doing the Caribbean at Christmas???? So jealous; maybe I'll use your trip as motivation to lose enough weight so that I could hide away in your suitcase without you having to pay the added baggage fee. Realistic plans = I have them.

  2. My God! Does this happen to me? This is my life! I rationalize in my head about food every waking minute of every day. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Except I think once I've "blow it" for the day, I have NEVER talked myself OUT of the big mac. And it generally lasts longer than a day. Gotta get right in the head and knock it out...asap!
    This was a good read, I saw you comment on Bloggess. :)

    1. I heart the Bloggess. Welcome to the blog! I have to admit, talking myself out of the Mac Attack was not an easy feat! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. St. Martin, here we come! :) I went to the mall and tried on swimsuits as motivation. The nice lady asked me how it went, and I told her I'd be back in a month after I hit the gym. :/

    1. I'm pretty sure trying on bathing suits is a form of emotional abuse. If you could emotionally abuse yourself. Or something.

  4. Good for you!!! I LOVE the money analogy--you are so right!! Congrats on logically thinking it out, AND also for continuing with the exercise routine even after a binge. Well done!

    Plus, I love hearing about your relationship with your kids. You are so REAL!! ;)

    1. Thanks Stephanie! I love my kiddos all the time; but sometimes we don't always like each other ;-)


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