Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Friday, August 17, 2012

20th Century Fox = Me ( ... Wait for it ...)

This was me after about five minutes of trying
to make a Facebook page for this blog.
It's another glorious Friday.  Do you know what makes this Friday wonderful?  I won't be camping.  Usually on Fridays I revisit some of my Facebook statuses from throughout the years, and today is no different.  You're welcome.  But this will be the last Facebook Friday for awhile, mostly because I'm running out of material ready for something new.  

I decided the theme for this Facebook Friday would be TECHNOLOGY, in view of what happened yesterday.  (Full disclosure : The Hubby does all the technical stuff for this blog. Yes, I did manage to choose a template through the step-by-step instructions a monkey could follow that make it easy for anyone with a computer to have a blog (thank you, Blogger), but Brian does all the stuff for me like add widgets (not a typo).  So it was pretty driven of me to take it upon myself to try and create my very own Sublurban Mama Facebook page all by myself.

Of course I messed it up.  Royally.  I messed it up so bad that even my questions about what I messed up didn't make sense.  But it's finally there.  And you can like it.  And subscribe to it.  And tell everyone you know on Facebook about it, so maybe they will come to my blog and learn about what to do when leeches attack.  Or their toddler throws a fit.  Or they meet cuh-razy people out in public.  So really, you aren't promoting my blog, you are probably saving a life.

Anyway, here are my Facebook statuses about Technology.

On Me and Technology

We got a new phone for our land line.  It has audio Caller I.D.  This is awesome because Brian customized his number and whenever he calls a disjointed, automated voice says, "Call from ... Big Daddy."

Confession #1: We still use rabbit ear antenna to get television reception.  Confession #2:  I'm about to have a heart attack because ABC won't come in and it's time for Expedition Impossible.

I love that my internal grumbling about all the chores I have to do is really internal grumbling about pushing a few buttons so a machine can do the work of the chores I have to do.

"Duh" Moment of the Day sponsored by "Don't worry Dude, your car's not broken":  No matter how high you crank up the defroster, you won't get rid of the fog outside the car.

I think there needs to be an app that would lie to you about the calorie counts in your three favorite foods.

The two year old showed me how to open the child-proofed cupboards today.  Tomorrow I'm hoping she'll show me how to load my Ipod.

I experience Rage Against the Machine completely different as an adult.  Like when the DVD player refuses to work while I'm desperately trying to make dinner with three extra appendages in the form of little girlies - I look at the DVD player and I truly Rage Against the Machine.

How did it get to be 2012 and we still don't have turn signals on our grocery shopping carts? Consider this my personal request, Meijer.

On Others and Technology

If you walk into the bathroom and hear what sounds like the pipes under the sink about to burst - DON'T PANIC.  Your two year old probably turned on seven electric toothbrushes and left them running inside the drawer.

To the sweet elderly gentleman driving next to me:  I'm sure in your day you were quite the looker.  I bet when a young lady pulled up next to you and tried to get your attention, you would give her the "How YOU doin'?" look you gave me, along with that adorable wink.  But today I was just trying to tell you that you were not driving on the road.  P.S.  Please hang up your phone when you hear the rumble strips.

When the husband is working on a home improvement project and after many sounds of exasperation finally asks for (in this order) Velcro and Popsicle sticks should I be worried?

If the car companies took some anti-theft device cues from Fisher Price, the police could get rid of the department for Grand Theft Auto.  Just lock up the steering wheel with those twist ties ... it would deter me.  Sheesh.

Here are some completely unrelated camping pictures to end your week:

Don't worry, it was short term.  The kid can totally breathe under that bright orange rain poncho from Target.  I was keeping him dry on the extremely short walk to the Field House like a good mother.

My friend Mark is 6'9" tall and uses his height for good, not evil.  And by good I mean putting toddlers on top of minivans so we can re-enact parts of Teen Wolf.

This is my good friend John V.  He is awesome.  And this is an awesome picture of the pair of us.  Just hanging out, (directly facing the sun) being awesome together.

Have a wonderful weekend, y'all.  I'll see you Monday!

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