In terms of actual helpful info for potential triathletes, I will be way more aggressive in the water. I won't sell my abilities short, start way in the back, and end up stuck behind all the breast strokers. I will start mid-pack and be less prone to wait for a considerable sized opening to swim through; I will take advantage of any opening I can. I will be less afraid to kick or punch someone during the swim. (Not purposefully. Dude. What kind of girl do you think I am?)
If there is a lot of sand from the water to transition I will have a bucket of water ready, and also socks that fit. I thought the sand wouldn't bother me, but it did. I also thought I was being clever by bringing old socks that were a little stretched out so they would be easier to get onto wet feet. They were easier to get on, but I also spent the run with my socks bunched all funny in my shoes, and that plan gave me a blister. (Fun fact = Esther calls them "blistards" which is kind of a great mash up of the actual name and my self-commentary when I see them on my feet.)
I will make a point not to drop my water bottle mid-ride. It wasn't the best execution of smoothness, and was completely unhelpful in terms of overall performance.
To conclude the great triathlon experience, here are some jokes.
Q: How do you know if there is a triathlete at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and an Ironman?
A: God doesn't think he's an Ironman.
And to finish: