Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Case of the Mondays: Rudest Post Ever

If you are wondering about Friday's lack of post, it is for one simple reason.  I spent all day Friday thinking it was Saturday. Which made the discovery of the correct day both horrifying and awesome upon realization of all that I'd missed, and the knowledge that I had an extra full day of weekend ahead of me.

Friday seemed like Saturday because Brian took the day off work, so Thursday night I stayed up late.  On Friday we traveled caravan style with our babysitting-swapping neighbors down to Toledo to have some crazy adventures in a completely G-rated way.

Our first destination was the Imagination Station.  Imagination Station is a hands-on science museum we love for its giant play space for the under six years old crowd.  While the older kids are exploring the two floors of awesome exhibits and experiments, the younger ones are also busy for hours, playing grocery store, emergency room/maternity ward (while Stacy was literally nursing her real baby Anastasia, I pretend gave birth to an African American baby boy, and two Caucasian girls)(it was a busy day for me), firemen, house, or in the water works area.

The day was fun, but it became spectacular when we hit the Grossology exhibit on our way out.  We thought we would do a quick walk-thru, but when faced with a human skin climbing wall, a GI slide, and an opportunity to shoot "pollen" balls at a giant nose to make it sneeze, well, we had to spend more time than planned.

Ezra loved the sliding down an esophagus into a stomach and crawling through intestines. Hosanna enjoyed Gas Attack, a pinball game that teaches which foods cause the most gas in your body, using pigs and piles of poop.  Eve was really good at the life size game of Operation, and Esther loved pretending she was a meteorologist, but instead of pointing out severe weather on the green screen, she swatted at urine clouds.  Who says homeschooling raises weird kids?

I forgot my camera so I stole this picture
from the internets.  That kid is a complete
stranger, but the cylinder he is listening to
produces really deep and slow "vapors".
The highlight for me was the Toot Machine. The musician in me was challenged to make a variety of pitched flatulence sounds, while the prepubescent youth in me was tickled at the hilarity of farts.  I wrote a short symphony using only gas sounds (and, as all you scientists may already know, gas sounds are dependent on how fast the gas is released and also on how tight the sphincter muscles are clenched)(so if you are a "squeaker" you probably need to chill out a bit).

We continued our day out by eating at a local sports bar (Fricker's) and heading over to Fifth Third Field to watch the Toledo Mudhen's play some minor league baseball. It was an annual church outing for us; this year 140 of us went.  The game ended with some fireworks and only two of our children melted down on the ride home.  Success!

So in honor of my Imagination Station Gaseous Masterpiece, I'm leaving you with this video. I may or may not have giggled my way through hours of youtube too many minutes to count of fart videos because I use my time wisely.  Brian didn't scold me at all by saying, "Real mature Kel; are you going to do that all night?" while he was busy playing Internet Bingo. Um, Yes, Pot, I am.  Love, Kettle.

So 1.  I'm sorry.  This will probably only be funny if you are a preteen boy.  Which is totally my demographic.  and 2. If you are a preteen boy - You're welcome.


  1. Ridiculousness!

    And I won't lie - I really want to go to that exhibit. As one who is allergic to everything, I am convinced I could set a record for making that nose sneeze.

  2. A grossology exhibit?! Oh I would love to see that (since I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy.... heheeeee). That is hilarious!
    And the video is oh my gosh, HILARIOUS! MY 14 yr. old and I were laughing so hard.

  3. I've been to Imagination Station! Went with the nanny family a couple of years ago. Too bad this exhibit wasn't there then, so fun!


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