|It's totally like this. It's like you all|
get hit by chicken. Literally. In the
(Actually, though, it's a hilarious story, and one of my favorite cooking anecdotes. So go ahead and buy the chicken, just feed it to Brian and the rest of the guys. David ends up marrying Lauren, and she will become your bestie, so he has to forgive you. Shaun marries Rachel (not Sister Wife Rachel, but Rachel that Looks Like Meg Ryan) and you will help organize their house, so whatever hard feelings will pass.)
3. This link will change your life. Within two weeks of this discovery you will consume approximately 20 pounds of watermelon. You're welcome.
5. It's not too late to try and meet Jack White. (Although, because of your lackluster internet skills, it may be a bit of a challenge still.) Do your best, because he lives right by you and in a few years he is going to blow the heck up. Figuratively, I mean. Try to get in now and maybe you can take Meg's place in the White Stripes. Or be a roadie* for them. Whatever.
* I still think, in a parallel universe, you would be a really good roadie. You are super organized, and like putting everything back in it's place. You also like walkie-talkies, so, win-win.
6. You are going to spend a lot of this year stressing about babies. You will gain 50 pounds on fertility drugs and become really discouraged because you are working out at the YMCA an hour and a half every morning. Keep doing this because without that treadmill time you might gain 75. And when that elderly man on oxygen walks 5 mph on the treadmill next to your 3.5 mph, chin up, Buttercup, them's the shakes. I don't even know what that means, but since we share a brain, I trust that you get it. Eventually there will be babies. Four of them, so far.
(Also, quit thinking you're busy. You're not. Not even close. Yeah, it's tough to go to school full time and have a job; and it's also hard to run your own house for the first time, but you know how you think it's insanely excessive that you have to sweep the kitchen like, twice a week? As soon as those little darlings show up you'll be sweeping after every meal. Usually more than that. And don't even get me started on playdoh.)(Also, Moon Sand is the devil. Just file that away for later.)
7. You are not going to get cast on the Real World. The open audition is promising, especially when you leave the line and pretend to be a journalist, walking up to interview others who just want their chance to
I think I've covered all the important points. Keep on, Sister.
33 year old Kelly