Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Hangovers and Races and Needing To Breathe

Lesson of the day:  The best way to handle those who are not naturally morning people is to treat them as if they are hungover.  Even if they are not.  Because they kind of are - they are still working off the effects of the previous evening.  So while you might think it's quite natural to be boisterous and loud as heck upbeat and cheerful first thing in the morning (even after only 4 hours sleep), and maybe even assume your demeanor in the dawn light is an admirable quality, that is not always the case.

Such was the lesson on a Saturday morning.

After the wonderment of NEEDTOBREATHE, Lauren and I drove off into the sunset (okay, it was like 1:30 in the morning) with one thing on our minds: McDonalds.  We drove to three or four before we found one open at that hour.  I was all, "The heck? This side of town cares a lot about making healthy choices hates freedom and doesn't want their citizens to have access to a 2:00 a.m. McFlurry.  What kind of fascism is this?"  But through perseverance we found a drive thru to meet our needs and settled into the parking lot to nosh and chat.  It felt a lot like high school, except without the "I hope I don't get caught" aspect.  Because, you know, I'm the mom now.

I slept over at Lauren's house (furthering the whole "high school" feel) because the next morning we were going to run a 5k together. We went to bed around 2:45-ish. Lauren was going to wake me at 7:45.  This is how that went.

Lauren (hesitant and gravelly voiced): Kel? It's morning.

Kelly: GOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!! (Okay, it was really like, "Good morning!" peppered with two stories of things that had happened during the three hours we had been apart and sleeping.)(One was that my phone died a slow and vocal death between 5:00 - 5:40 a.m.)(The second was that I woke up in a panic because we were *obviously* late because I was much too rested to have only slept our allotted time, so I sneaked downstairs to find a clock because my phone was dead, but I didn't want to disturb Diamond the dog and/or David the husband, but it was only 6:11 a.m.)(I shared both stories in my usual manner and ended with, "Cool, I think Imma take a shower.")(Lauren looked at me in awe bewilderment and went back to bed.)

I only noticed a difference in our morning personalities when I was standing at the toaster (singing a made up song in my head of "toastin' some toast in the toooooaaaaster ... gonna put on some peanut buuuuuuutter") and Lauren said, "Are you always this happy in the morning?" and I was like, "Yes." This was when I realized Lauren had a Not A Morning Person Hangover and I should probably chill the heck out and eat my toast respectfully.

We drove to my mom's house because that's where we were going to park, but discovered the race was farther away then I previously thought.  We parked closer to the race and walked to get our race packets.  I originally wanted to do the pre-race yoga session they offered, but with our late night and someone's hangover it was probably best we skipped it.

When the race started, I warned Lauren it would be congested and we would both dodge people and have people dodge us.  It thinned out after about a quarter of a mile and was a great run.  It was mainly through neighborhoods and the weather was perfect.  There were two water stations and a lot of volunteers cheering us on.  Since the race benefited mental health awareness and suicide prevention, the course was lined with signs filled with facts and statistics relating to the cause.

I heard the first f-bomb at the Mile 1 marker.  It totally wasn't from Lauren.  She did fantastic.  Her goal was to run the whole thing and she did.  She even sprinted to the finish line.  I still haven't found our official results anywhere, but the sprint to the finish was to beat 40 minutes, so, accounting for our starting place in the mob of racers, I'll bet we averaged about a 11:45ish mile. I am so happy and proud she did it! The next obvious step is to convince her to do Warrior Dash.

Yeah we totally just ran a 5k. #selfiesatthefinish

Also, because this is super fun, here is a picture my friend Meggan tagged me in on Facebook.  She found it on the Royal Oak Music Theatre FB page from the night Needtobreathe played.  Photo is by Joe Gall Photography.

Front row? Check.  Huge smiles? Check.  Looking like I'm naked?  Aaaand check.


  1. Pete's not a morning person either and he's frequently peeved at my exuberance at 7am. Whatevz, yo.

    Also, I did a Warrior Dash last summer and laahhved it. You just reminded me to sign up again!

    1. Warrior Dash is so much fun! I save a pair of old shoes every year just to ruin at WD. Maybe Pete just needs some sun glasses and ear plugs for the early morning. Or a Bloody Mary. Whatever works. ;-)


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