Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

This is Brian when he was four.  It's pretty much
what Ezra looks like. (Like he's about to totally do
something covert that will take for-evah to clean up.)

Happy Facebook Friday!  If you are new to Sublurban Mama, Facebook Friday is a day when I revisit some of my more memorable moments in Facebook status updates.  It's about celebrating Friday with a chuckle and certainly not about me phoning it in at all.

Today's Facebook Friday is all about my darling little boy Ezra. When I was at my twenty week ultrasound during my pregnancy with Ezra they told me he was a girl.  My Facebook status that day was : Officially renaming our house the Estrogen Palace.  I guess with three little girlies God decided what's one more?  Baby#4 = GIRL.  My poor, poor husband. 

I had to go back the following week for another ultrasound, as baby was being a little stubborn about showing off her profile.  After the appointment I updated my status to: Sometimes I think, "Really, what could happen in a week?"  Oh, baby girl #4 could grow a PENIS.  Baby #4 is a boy. (Also, Brian went out that night and bought tiny little khaki cargo pants.  Adorbs.)  

Here are some Facebook Statuses involving the boy child.

We've been calling it a "car seat" but Ezra is slowly renaming it "Fossilized Cheerios Buffet."

If you're wondering if a non-verbal 2 year old can still embarrass you by calling a random stranger at Home Goods a "stinky elephant" using really obvious sign language, yes he can.

If Ezra was twenty years older (and not my son) I would totally think about taking out a restraining order against him. I doubt the cops would buy the whole "separation anxiety" thing then.

When they said people with children couldn't own glass topped table tops, they meant people with male children ... Ezra = 6, Household Objects I Love = 0.

Note to self = When a man has waited patiently through the births of three little girls and has finally received a son, never cover that son in lavender scented lotion after his bath. It will not be a popular decision.

I can finally add to my "Conversations I've had with a toddler while using my Earnest Voice" list with : "Honey, don't sneak up behind me while I'm standing at the counter cutting cucumbers and bite my butt. It scares me and it hurts."

I really love my little boy.  He is a joy.  A very busy joy who loves his mom so much between the hours of 3:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. it is a wonder she gets anything done because "NO! I have to make dinner and I can't hold you!" Lately, the girlies have been mentioning (with increasing frequency) that we need twin boys.  Esther even rubs my belly and talks to the babies that are potentially inside.  Sometimes, for a joke, Hosanna will put, "It's a BOY!" signs on the front door.  This is all hilarious.  Really.  I remain firm in my conviction that, much like getting a dog, we can have twin boys if everyone else helps clean up the poop.  I'm waiting for their agreements.  In writing.


  1. Ezra sounds like an absolute riot. And your statuses made me lol at work. As usual. Hope you have a wonderful Friday!

    1. Thanks, Katie! The little dude is funny. And cute. Which helps when he's being a terror.

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks, I'm cutting back a little.


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