So this is where it gets real, sistafriends. I may or may not have
I guess if weight loss is basic math, where consistently eating fewer calories results in weight loss, then the opposite is also true. Consistently eating more calories makes you gain weight. And the Holiday Season practically dared me to eat more calories. Consistently. Like, "Hey, I'm a Christmas cookie, a special entity that only exists within this comparitively short season ... better eat me now. Do you know what I would taste good with? Fudge. Fudge that the eight year olds in your Bible study made all by themselves. And when the youth of 'Murica show initiative with such a productive endeavor, it is the socially responsible thing to encourage them by partaking in their product. It takes a village, Kelly."
Also, if you maybe, say, traumatically injure your calf in such a way that it would be damaging to
So here I am, two weeks into the new year with the same goal as the rest of the western world = to go from jiggly to jiggy* (*per Urban Dictionary definition #2.3 meaning "an exclamation that means "Sweet!" or "Tiiiiiight!")(You're welcome.)
So far all has been as expected. I'm in that hellish period where my brain and emotions need to jump on board with my will to understand that we don't snack all day long just because we are feeling mad/sad/pouty/glad/happy/lazy/supercrazy/or any other way. I've discovered a previously unknown love for tea because it takes a long time to drink
I've also resorted back to the public food journal. It can be found under the tab at the top called "My Pie Hole".
(Rules for reading my food journal include but are not limited to:
1. You may judge me for how many carbs I eat/ how few vegetables I ingest/ my Taco Bell consumption/ the idea that I think Iced Capp is a food group.
2. You may not express to me your judgement of how many carbs I eat/ how few vegetables I ingest/ my Taco Bell consumption/ the idea that I think Iced Capp is a food group.)
(Also, please don't model your diet after mine. It is far from perfect.
My return to the gym has been fantastic. I've gotten several surprise martial arts moves in as I've had to fight people -who only show up in the month of January- to get a spot in Ab Lab. (Don't worry, I fight dirty and always get my spot - hoorah.) I took a kettle bell class and was all, "Dude, this is a wussy waste of time. I'll stick to my kettle bell clean and press during weight training." Fast forward to the next day and I was all, "Holy Glutes, Batman. Swinging that
My running has steadily improved. My last intervals were up to a half mile run/ one minute walk for 30 minutes with no calf pain or tightness. I've decided to do a half marathon in October instead of April so that I don't rush recovery. I have time to get back to where I was without any pressure and that's awesome.
Speaking of pressure, I attended a yoga class where I'm pretty sure the instructor expected us to dislocate our shoulders in order to accomplish some cuh-razy pose. I was all, "Seriously? Yeah, that's not gonna happen." I cemented this inner vow by blowing a giant bubble with my gum, which apparently is not encouraged in yoga class. We also did dolphin pose repeatedly, which makes me feel like I should have brought a rape whistle. The instructor said soothing things like, "You should really feeeeeeel your hamstrings streeeeetch," and I was all, "I really feeeeeeel vulnerable with my tush so reeeeeaadily available and my arms now completely nuuuuuuumb and useless." I kept this all in my head, of course, because I'm considerate of others who are feeeeeeling their hamstrings streeeeeetch.
A Sublurban Mama announcement: While I am concentrating on getting myself back in shape I will only be posting on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Somethings got to give so I can have more time to workout and sleep, and I'm pretty sure letting go of my responsibilities to my children is illegal. Similarly, I really love Brian and don't want to get divorced, so I still need to focus some time and energy on him. So, my dear readers, please bear with me as I take it from a five day a week posting to a three day a week posting. In the wise words of Stacy Ann Ferguson, better known by her stage name of Fergie, I need to "be up in the gym just workin on my fitness." And she knows because she is Fergalicious.
As soon as I post some killer new before/after pics you will see that it is totally worth it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that ... right?