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| "Hey, Kel, that hole in the wall looks a lot like your foot." What could have caused that hole? |
I am so thankful for my precious kiddos who continually drive me insane, make me laugh, and help me grow. Like, literally. I grew 55 pounds with Hosanna alone.
Facebook has recorded some of my best parenting moments in
On nutrition:
"No chocolate cake until you finish your hot dog." Yet another merit badge on my Mom-of-the-Year sash. It's next to the badge for "Ketchup is a fruit."
A recent (and VERY scientific) study has concluded that you can feed your children Kashi and fresh fruit for a month straight, but no one will ask, "What did you have for breakfast?" until your child can answer truthfully, "Chocolate milk and a Pop Tart."
On behavior:
Took the kids to Walmart this morning. In their jammies. Clutching McDonald's apple juice boxes. And gave out gum to stop a tantrum. Don't judge me.
A very angry toddler just threw a book at my head. The title? For Kids Only: A Daily Devotional on Self-Control.
I've decided today that any parenting refereeing will be decided based solely on the outcome of a cage match. (Best response: "I've got $5 on Hosanna." - Cassie)
On teachable moments:
Warning: Over-sharing to your toddler may lead to your toddler over-sharing to complete strangers at the grocery store. This includes any information you may think your child will need at some point of their life - like the occurrence and definition of a "verp."
All day we've been practicing, "What does Esther say?" "Yes, Ma'am!" and now to show Papa. "Esther, what does a cow say?" "Moo." "What does a frog say?" "Ribbit." "What does Esther say?" "Not d*mn it!" Training time well spent.
Eve, looking at the Statue of Liberty. "Is that the American Idol?"
On provision:
Just added to the list of Conversations I Never Thought I'd Initiate: "Honey, when your underpants are this tight, let Mama know so I can buy you a bigger pair." (Best response? "If only Richard Simmons mother had the foresight to have that same conversation." - Erin)
But thankfully, just when I start to feel like the worst.parent.ever (like the time I made Hosanna go on the Iron Dragon even though she begged not to ride for the 45 minutes we were on line and cried during and after the ride) I just go visit the internet. And the internet tells me I doing better than some. So thank you, Internet.
Have a great weekend and I'll see you Monday!
*I keep going back and forth with this one. "Alliterate" - do I go for the easy joke about you wondering if I really meant to write "illiterate" which would be a totally ironic mistake, or should I just leave it alone and have you blown away by my vocabulary skillz? Asterisk = best of both worlds.
Thanks for laughs, and more importantly, thanks for making me feel like an AWESOME mom!!
ReplyDeletePS: I totally got "alliteration" and WAS subsequently impressed because that is not a word used very often these days. Well done, ma'am.
I read a book about a girl who grew up homeless and very neglected but ended up at Harvard despite all the opposition. After I read that, whenever I felt like a bad mom I would think, "At least I've never sold their bikes for crack." (Whatever works, right?)("Whatever works = more alliteration. Score.)
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