|Um, I think this is USA Triathlon sanctioned.|
Or totally should be.
I thought I would take advantage of my close proximity to the recently renovated four million dollar bike path, allowing me access to 44 miles of trail designated for cyclists and runners alike. Except that the State of Michigan is really intent on keeping me off the trail, because they have chosen prime cycling season to attack all the bridge work over the trail, making entrance to the path tricky. But I persevered (i.e. went to mapmyride), and discovered a secret batman route onto the path. (Which? Probably should have stayed secret until I got shocks for a certain body part that rhymes with "China".)
Let me say: The path is awesome. Not as awesome as the hardcore, X-Games, secluded woods trail. But fully paved, moderately empty, and only a slight creepoid factor as you trek behind a rest stop. (Really, State of MI? Are you not fully up on your urban legends?)
and think, "Oh my gosh, that could totally be a super cute vase/necklace/aluminum bouquet of flowers/
I should have thought, "SICK! Who knows where that nasty GARBAGE has been? I should wear gloves to throw it out, and not even consider covering it in hot glue and burlap/twine/ribbon and sticking it on my kitchen table!" This is when I knew I have been grievously affected by Pinterest. And not only was Pinterest making me
You see, there is no such thing as a Pinterest Support Group. I'm sure, once upon a time, someone tried to initiate one, but it was doomed from conception. I don't know a lot about support groups, but I'm pretty sure you need to have meetings. And a group of Pinterest junkies organizing a meeting would only further their problems.
A Pinterest Support Group meeting would have SNACKS
And a PLACE to talk about ADDICTION
and I'm pretty sure you need a MODERATOR, someone who is in recovery from the addiction. Here are all the images in the entire Internet of people who have recovered from Pinterest.
*insert sound of crickets*
So, today, I'm taking matters into my own hand. I declare I will not pull that (perfectly sized) waterlogged cork board from the drainage ditch. It may only need some fabric, a cute frame, and fumigation to make it usable, but I will bravely ride past, and not spend two more miles wondering exactly how I could have gotten it home on my bike.
All the beads, wire, and jewelry making tools I bought to make these necklaces? They are going to hang out on my dresser
IN CONCLUSION, it's really late and I need to