|"Hey, Kel, that hole in the wall looks a lot like your foot."|
What could have caused that hole?
I am so thankful for my precious kiddos who continually drive me insane, make me laugh, and help me grow. Like, literally. I grew 55 pounds with Hosanna alone.
Facebook has recorded some of my best parenting moments in
"No chocolate cake until you finish your hot dog." Yet another merit badge on my Mom-of-the-Year sash. It's next to the badge for "Ketchup is a fruit."
A recent (and VERY scientific) study has concluded that you can feed your children Kashi and fresh fruit for a month straight, but no one will ask, "What did you have for breakfast?" until your child can answer truthfully, "Chocolate milk and a Pop Tart."
Took the kids to Walmart this morning. In their jammies. Clutching McDonald's apple juice boxes. And gave out gum to stop a tantrum. Don't judge me.
A very angry toddler just threw a book at my head. The title? For Kids Only: A Daily Devotional on Self-Control.
I've decided today that any parenting refereeing will be decided based solely on the outcome of a cage match. (Best response: "I've got $5 on Hosanna." - Cassie)
On teachable moments:
Warning: Over-sharing to your toddler may lead to your toddler over-sharing to complete strangers at the grocery store. This includes any information you may think your child will need at some point of their life - like the occurrence and definition of a "verp."
All day we've been practicing, "What does Esther say?" "Yes, Ma'am!" and now to show Papa. "Esther, what does a cow say?" "Moo." "What does a frog say?" "Ribbit." "What does Esther say?" "Not d*mn it!" Training time well spent.
Eve, looking at the Statue of Liberty. "Is that the American Idol?"
Just added to the list of Conversations I Never Thought I'd Initiate: "Honey, when your underpants are this tight, let Mama know so I can buy you a bigger pair." (Best response? "If only Richard Simmons mother had the foresight to have that same conversation." - Erin)
But thankfully, just when I start to feel like the worst.parent.ever (like the time I made Hosanna go on the Iron Dragon even though she begged not to ride for the 45 minutes we were on line and cried during and after the ride) I just go visit the internet. And the internet tells me I doing better than some. So thank you, Internet.
Have a great weekend and I'll see you Monday!
*I keep going back and forth with this one. "Alliterate" - do I go for the easy joke about you wondering if I really meant to write "illiterate" which would be a totally ironic mistake, or should I just leave it alone and have you blown away by my vocabulary skillz? Asterisk = best of both worlds.