Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Monday, June 11, 2012

"Can you hear me now?" - the Verizon Guy

And so it begins. 

I've been wondering how to start this. Do I plunge ahead mid-life and hope you fill in the gaps by making up all the relevant information as you read? Do I give you the back story and details that only I think are really important? Let's compromise, shall we?

Here are the basics:

1. The older I get, the less I know I Know.

2. I can't dance. At all. My signature move is a weird sway thing. And clapping. Lots of clapping.

3. My favorite color is yellow, although I buy everything in sage green. I had a third grade teacher who said her favorite color was "clear", and I thought that was so cool and deep at the time that I decided my favorite color was "invisible". Here's to third graders (and their teachers) who thought way outside the (crayola) box.

4. The older I get the more confident I get, which is strange in view of #1. 

5. I bake some mean vegan banana bread. Ditto for my vegan chocolate cake.

6. Sometimes I pretend interview myself on David Letterman. 

7. John Steinbeck - not a fan. 

8. My favorite people make me laugh. I am thinking of my husband. He is hilarious.

9. So is the E-Trade baby. 

10. My husband, the financial guru, taught me that liquid is more than a state of matter. 

11.I have four kiddos. Three girlies and a boy. They are awesome and drive me FREAKING INSANE.

12. I homeschool them. (For questions regarding homeschool, see #11)

13. In Heaven bagpipes don't exist. But the Crunchwrap Supreme does.

14. I really, really, really want dread locks. 

15. I gave myself plantar faciitis living out my Navy Seal dreams at the gym. "Second place is first loser!"

16. I wear a bite guard to bed. It's connected to a string I wear around my neck so I don't swallow it. HOT. 

17. I'm tongue-tied. Literally. I'm also double-jointed.

18. After baby #4 I lost 105 pounds. I've kept it off for a year. I am training for my first triathlon in July 2012.

19. I am a compulsive list maker. 

20. Sometimes I have diet pop for breakfast. I justify this because it is diet ORANGE pop. 

21. I majored in music, but have really bad coordination. Luckily I also have carpal tunnel which gives me a medical excuse to forgo the tambourine. 

22. I also secretly wish I could be a person that enjoys camping and not showering. 

23. I really like to take showers. It is usually where David Letterman interviews me.

24. I said the basics, so I think we're okay now.

Thanks for making it through this. I hope you like my blog enough to constantly stalk me follow it.


  1. I don't know about your husband but you are pretty hilarious yourself!

    1. Thanks Ivayla! He likes to think he taught me everything he knows ;-)


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