(You might be a child of the '80s if you
heard that in Pee-Wee's voice.)
I love the new training plan Kemper gave me. Like, "why don't you marry it?" a la Pee-Wee Hermann love it. There is something so incredibly freeing about going to the gym and not having to think about what I have to do. Every single time I start to worry that I'm not doing enough I'm all, "Self, Kemper is the boss of this rodeo. You just need to pony up and follow the plan, Cowgirl." (Yep. It's that fun inside my head all the time.)(Don't get too jealous.)
This doesn't mean I was completely on board with the schedule the first time I saw it. I'm pretty sure I wanted to throw up when I read through the email detailing all the new exercises and the weights Kemper wanted me to train with. In fact, I may have sent him a message asking him to clarify what he meant by the set and rep counts. Surely five sets of five reps at such heavy weights was a typo? He clearly meant I was to do five sets of one rep each because otherwise that would be cuh-razy.
Well, apparently Kemper is crazy. He confirmed that yes, he meant five sets of five reps. But while he is crazy, he is also right. And he knows more than me. And has better hair.
I was so nervous about the first day of this schedule that I lay* awake in bed the night before going over the math for the weight plates again and again. Because Type A. I also visualized doing the entire workout so I could memorize it and not have to carry some dorky sheet of paper around the gym with me like a note from my mo-om. Make fun of me all you want because *I* looked like I knew what I was doing (except when I failed my last bench rep and didn't have a spotter and the dude next to me jumped over super fast and rescued me by hopping in to spot me so I didn't have to totally biff and do the Scoot of Shame out from under the bar.)(Props to that guy.)(And props to you for enduring that run-on sentence.)
Here are a few of my favorite moments from Week One.
1. Learning how to wait for a weight bench
It took a bit of observation, but I'm starting to get a grasp on how boys hover but don't look like they're hovering when they want next up. This was a particularly important skill to master on Monday when everybody and their brother was bench pressing and I had no freaking clue how to "get in line" when there was no line. (If Moms Ran The Gym #6: Fellas - ever been to the deli? Or the fabric cutting counter at JoAnne's? They both have an excellent and proven "Take a Number" system. Just a thought.)
|You can work in with me and my feathered locks.|
2. Making new friends
There is this woman at the gym who
Her name is Tracy and she is a competitive powerlifter. She helped me with my form on barbell rows, and has been all sorts of encouraging since then. I also made a new friend (another competitive powerlifter!) named Sara and we deadlifted together last night. (She used my max weight as a warm-up.)(So awesome.) I feel so welcomed! The weight lifting community reminds me of both the running and triathlon communities. (For all those scared of trying athletic things because you are so out of shape - just do it. The people who love these things want you to love them too, and will generally go out of their way to help you get started.)
3. BATTLE ROPES
|Totally me after Battle Ropes.|
Kemper gave me a cardio circuit that included Battle Ropes. These are so good for me because if you slow down errrrrbody can tell because your ropes stop moving. They also make your heart rate skyrocket, so yeah, it's completely effective all the way around. I would recommend them to anyone with a limited time to live because Battle Ropes make 20 seconds seem like a decade.
|I *know* y'all. But accountability and all that.|
I owe you one.
So to recap week one, and because this is a strength program and some of y'all care about this kind of thing, here are my numbers. I'll post them every week so we can see if there is progress.
2 warm-up sets (1x8 @ bar, 1x6 @ 60#)
1x5 @ 70#
3x5 @ 75#
1x5 @ 80#
2 warm-up sets (1x8 @ 65#, 1x6 @ 95#)
1x5 @ 125#
3x5 @ 135#
1x5 @ 140#
2 warm-up sets (1x10 @ bar, 1x6 @ 95#)
3x5 @ 125*
1x5 @ 130
1x5 @ 135
*This is not what Kemper told me to do. But after my first set of 125# I couldn't even imagine next hitting 3 sets of 135 like he directed. So I went my own way, and guess what? I'm totally pissed at myself because I know I could have done it. Lesson
Spoiler Alert: I've started Week Two and have already seen strength gains in both my bench and deadlift. It's working, y'all! Huzzah!
*Lay vs. Lie - because grammar is a jerk, did you know, to further confuse this issue, that lay is the past tense form of lie. WTHeck, Grammar?