Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Case of the Mondays: Revealed: My favorite joke, ever.

HAPPY (...happy...happy...) MONDAY (...Monday...Monday...)

Happy Monday? Yes, there is a lot to be happy about.

1. This dude had freaking brain surgery on Wednesday. And here he is yesterday proving the healing power of Target retail therapy.

He may be down half of a C1 vertebrae and sport an awesome looking incision (which Uncle Brian is trying to convince him to tattoo a zipper over) but the boy knows where happiness resides. In the toy aisle, duh.

Thanks for all your prayers for my little nephew. He is doing great, and already talking about returning to football next year. He has a few more weeks of healing ahead of him, but he is keeping his strength up with fun size Kit-Kats. Which? Is really the only way to do it.

I'm pretty sure it should have it's own
zip code.  Cuh-razy.
2. Brian had four hours of evaluation and testing at U of M Friday morning. The hospital system is ginormous. I took the older girlies while Lauren babysat Ezra and Esther, and while we were waiting for Brian (doing our schoolwork like responsible homeschoolers) a cart came around and offered us free coffee, hot chocolate, tea, or water. I felt like I was on an airplane except that I was allowed to leave my seat and pee whenever I wanted. Brian sees a doctor on Thursday who will interpret the testing and hopefully have some answers for us. And a game plan. That would be nice.

3. My next door neighbor is going to take over our lawn care while Brian is sick. This is because I'm spoiled rotten. He brought over his special pulled pork (that he smoked in his backyard all day long) because he could see us drooling from behind closed doors, and then asked if he could mow our lawn while he was doing his own. Twist my arm. (He also wanted to ask permission because he knows how much I love to mow the lawn, which I thought was sweet, but geez-louise am I overwhelmed right now, so um, yeah Don, you can totally take that over.)

4. I fixed our bathtub all by myself. I made sure I was as professional as possible, using tools like my tweezers* so I didn't have to touch the massive hairball that came up in clumps when I snaked the drain. (*Don't worry, not my good eyebrow tweezers; I'm not that committed.) I even had plumbers crack. You can call me Super Wife.

5. With my new bangs the first five minutes of every day is spent looking like an 80's rocker. So that's pretty awesome.

Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
"Do you take sugar?
One lump or twoooooo?"

6. And finally, my favorite joke, ever:

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu.


  1. Great joke! So awesome that your nephew is doing so well! And gooooo Brian!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...