Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Zoology 101

This is why we rule at Family Dinner.

Scene:  We are all noshing on penne with spinach, tomatoes, and bacon.  Broccoli is served as a side dish.  The adults in the room have had trying days and are being overly bright to compensate out of consideration of everyone else in the room.  Whom they love dearly. The children are all, "Mmmm, bacon."  Then, this:

Hosanna:  What's the name of that animal?

Brian:  What animal?

Hosanna:  You know, it's erectile.

Kelly: *snorts Diet Coke out her nose*

Brian: (eyes twinkling) Like it's dysfunctional?

Kelly: STAHP.

Hosanna: The one where in the water it looks like a log floating.

Kelly: *giggles like a teenage boy*

Brian: What did you call it, Nan?

Hosanna:  The erectile.  Why is mom laughing so hard?

Eve:  Oh, I get it.  It's a wrecked tile.  *laughs uncontrollably* AWRECKTILE   AWRECKTILE  AWREEEEEEECKTILE!

Kelly:  Dude.  Stop.  Nan, do you mean a crocodile?

Hosanna:  The tail whips back and forth.  Erectile.

Kelly: *tears coming down her cheeks*  Do you mean reptile?

Hosanna: Um, yeah. A reptile.


  1. Coffee is everywhere now. Kids really do say the darnedest things!My boss's 5 year old was trying to write "I love Math" on the front of a card for her but instead spelled, "I love Meth." My kids had better be funny. When I have them, that is.

    1. I'm pretty sure math and meth should go together. It would be way more fun. Until you turn into Lindsey Lohan. Or something.

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  3. The other day a student in my second grade classroom was telling me about her doctor's appointment later that day. She was very excited that she didn't have to get any shots, but she would be "getting hepatitis." Ha!

    1. OMGoodness - I just responded to this comment with the most barely funny comment when spellcheck stopped me from posting hepatitis spelled as "Hepatits." Which? Is WAY more funny. So Hepatits to you, my dear!

  4. LOL! Oh man Kelly I almost choked on my lunch! That is the funniest thing ever! Kids do say the darndest things!

    1. Sorry about the choking - that was my reaction as well ;-)

  5. Your kids are hysterical--I know who they get it from!!!!


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