Party Like It's 2012 (but also like you're a 33 year old with four kids)

This is totally what I'm doing tonight.  Except replace all
these hip people with my kiddos and my in-laws.  And then
swap the balloons and streamers and party atmosphere with
the interior of our local Chinese restaurant.  But otherwise
pretty much the exact same thing.

How did it get to be New Year's Eve already?  WTHeck, Time? Slow down you animal; there are children aboard.

I loved this year.  2012 did me good, y'all.  (That sentence was a grammatical mess, and, to be honest, made me wonder if people would deduce I was trying to hint at innuendo but failed miserably because I'm not really a Master of the Sexy.  Which is why it was up to Justin Timberlake to bring sexy back and not me, which is good because apparently he succeeded and sexy is totally back.

2012 was a kinda a big year.  If I had to sum it up in one phrase it would be "The year that Kelly turned into a Bagel BELT and Iced Capp because: you are what you eat."  (Not having Tim Horton's sponsor my blog is one of my major fails in life.)  I may or may not have received four TH gift cards for Christmas.

Um, yeah that's my husband. *Swoon*

Sadly, this is the year that Joe Stillwell left Needtobreathe.  I am still very, very blue about this. If I was a teenybopper, it's Joe's poster that would be on my wall.  Because I maybe have a thing for musicians and he is, after all, a drummer.  But since I'm a grown woman and my husband won't let me I don't have any rock star's picture over our bed. (But I'm just sayin' if I did it would be Joe, which is why I'm so sad about his departure.)

Rock of Ages ... don't hate.
This is what I would be like as a rock star.
Except I'd wear a shirt because I'm a lady.

I did get into some new music this year.  I fully jumped on the Mumford & Sons bandwagon.  I love me some rock and roll banjo.  I also discovered Fun and a bunch of other stuff I never would've given a chance if it weren't for needing a good running playlist.  Neon Trees, Foster the People, 30 Seconds to Mars, and Bon freaking Jovi topped some of my playlists.  In my most awesome moment ever I confessed I really wanted the Rock of Ages soundtrack for Christmas.  In an even more awesome moment that trumped my confession I actually received the CD because my mom loves me.

Her Majesty.

I also had fun on the Internets.  My favorites this year included Honest Toddler -  on Twitter and his blog, Ghetto Hikes, and of course The Bloggess.  (Jenny Lawson is my Stephenie Meyer.  You know, in the sense that she's an average woman who makes a ton of money writing hilarious nonsense.) I've also been extremely blessed to enter the blogosphere and "meet" some fantastic people. I'm thinking of Katie at Nested and Stephanie at That Loud Redhead.



To finish my 2012 review, here are my Top Five Gamechangers of 2012.  These are the things I never saw coming that changed my life.  All of them.  In one year.  It's been a ride.

1. Sarah - Can you believe that I only met Sarah in February?  We met at a triathlete swimming class offered at my gym.  Sarah was an actual triathlete while I was a wannabe who didn't know if I could do it.  For some reason she still wanted to swim with me after the class ended and she wasn't forced to because she paid to be there.  Our swim times grew to include bike times, practice triathlon times, and finally just hang out and have fun without killing our bodies times.  Our Christmas gift exchange was rad as she spoiled my whole family rotten; she got me because I wanted it so badly Ezra this:

If you listen closely, it's totally a Kris Kross ripoff which I love.  Now I get to hear Tigger rap, "wiggity-wiggity-wiggity-wiggle!"  all day long.  Pooh is so hood.  100 Acre Woods, y'all! (Yeah, I totally just threw up the midwest gang sign.)  I got her some footie pajamas.  And?  They have shark feet.

Sarah's are aqua, and can you ever go wrong with shark feet?  Answer:  NO.

2. Pinterest - Laugh all you want but Pinterest has changed my life mainly because it reminds me that I will never have my act together enough to make miniature sushi shaped like a penguin and that's more than okay.  Pinterest is teaching me how to dress, one accessorized outfit at a time.  It is teaching me how to combine desserts into hybrid dessert recipes that would make Keegan-Michael Key freak the heck out because they are that good.  (Why stop with brownies?  Why don't we make brownies with a pretzel crust and fill them with oreo cookies? They also probably need to be topped with cookie dough.)  It is where I first discovered that some children, whose parents love them, have rock walls in their bedrooms.  Mine have to settle for climbing the fireplace. They are so deprived.

3. Sublurban Mama - I thought about doing this blog for a while.  I started it in June and the response has been overwhelming.  I'm so thankful for each and every one of you who read it. (And comment. I'm a nerd about loving people that comment.)(And all of you that are Sublurbanites and follow me on Google Friend Connect - I might yell "SOMEONE ELSE IS FOLLOWING ME!" to Brian whenever it happens.  It's totally like on It's a Wonderful Life when Zuzu Bailey says, "Teacher says, "Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." But you following me is the bell, and me screaming in excitement and maybe on accident peeing a little  is like an angel getting wings.  Or something.)(We won't even talk about what happens when another blog links to me.)(Have I mentioned that I can still do the Roger Rabbit and it might be part of my happy dance when those of you that love me refer me to others who then in turn follow me on Google Friend Connect or Facebook?)

So this blog was a bit of a game changer for me.

This is just me.  Being a triathlete.  No biggie.

4. Triathlon - Did I mention I did a triathlon this year?  Oh, I did?  I forgot how many posts I wrote about it but here is the recap.  Triathlon is a monster of a sport.  Can you imagine getting race ready for three different sports?  The equipment needs themselves are staggering.  I was pushed out of my comfort zone every day (for four months!) as I prepared for the big day.  It was one of the proudest moments of my life.





5. Disney World - I feel a titsch silly with this one, but I finally get what the Disney hype is all about and I will totally be going back at some point.  What made this trip so special was that it was thrown together pretty last minute by the in-laws, who are so good to us.  It was to be our last big family time together before Brian's parents move from 3 miles away in our little Michigan town to Malawi for a year. Yep.  Africa's Malawi.  It's gonna be rough. Rough for me because I love them and will miss them.  Rough for them because Malawi doesn't have a Tim Horton's.  I don't know who will have it worse.

Happy New Year everyone!  Stay safe tonight.  I'll see you next year! (I had to do it.  It's a tradition, right?)

"This ain't a song for the broken-hearted" - Bon Jovi

If anyone out there is involved in a scavenger hunt and you still need to find

1. A little old Asian lady showering naked in the group shower and singing opera while soaping up because, let's face it, the acoustics in the shower are sublime

then come to my gym. I've got her.

And I'm so jealous of her.

I want to be her. Not the whole "little old Asian lady" part because it's impossible. You know, genetics. Not even the "showering naked in the group shower" part because I'm a BAM* who already does this.

*this may be a bit overstated. I might shower naked in the group showers because on the first day of swim class everyone else was doing it and I couldn't figure out a way not to disrobe without being the weird "dressed while everyone else is naked girl".

It's the "singing opera while soaping up" part that gets me. As a former music major, I sing opera frequently at home. I sing it in my car. I sing it to my husband whenever I want to stealthily pick a fight. My four year old even acts out a character she calls "Opera Mom." But I do not have the balls to sing opera in public while naked.

But the little old Asian lady has 'em. (Figuratively, I mean. It is the women's locker room.)

Singing opera in a place reserved for downward cast eyes and private toweling off is a bold move. It says, "I don't care. Look at me. I look nothing like a super model and I'm totally okay with being naked and having you look at me.  I'm all about having fun and enjoying the moment when I want to. In fact, if the floor wasn't a bit slippery I might skip to my locker. Because I'm that carefree."

I want that.


So today I'm going to discover my inner Naked Opera Star. 


(This next part is best read while having Bon Jovi's It's My Life stuck in your head.)


I'll start by owning it when I forget I'm riding a stationary bike at the gym and air drum the heck out of the handlebars.  No more staring intensely at the odometer in shame, hoping no one caught me out of the corner of their eye.  I will meet the gaze of College Muscle Man in the mirror and even invite him to play air guitar.  Because I'm not into Musical Exclusivity.


In a completely clear, super wide grocery aisle?  I will get a running start and ride the shopping cart.  


When I am alone in my minivan and at a particularly poignant moment in my interview with David Letterman, I will soldier on even at a stop light next to a car filled with people who can see I am talking to myself/Imaginary Dave.  Clearly.


Today I will embrace that I sing the talk box parts in Livin' on a Prayer, because honestly, how can you have any kind of soul and not want to imitate that sound?  And while we are on the subject of Bon Jovi (you're welcome) I'm going to go ahead and cry while I'm singing because I'm still premenstrual I really feel for Tommy and Gina and I'm just so proud of them that life is so hard but they are going to make it.  


When I finish my workout and go straight to Burger King to order a Hershey Sundae Pie, I will never pretend to be on the phone when I get to the window and say, "I'm coming honey, they are literally putting it in my hand right now," because I want the teenage BK worker to think that obviously my husband has some dude version of a pregnancy craving, and I, the devoted wife, am lovingly fulfilling it for him. Because of course this Hershey Sundae Pie is not for me.*

*I'm not committing to it that I've actually done this.  Definitely not more than once.  Twice tops.

NO MORE!  If Naked Opera Star wants Hershey Sundae Pie (and has worked out and responsibly fit it into her meal plan) she will eat it without disgrace! (But maybe with some chagrin if she's in her workout clothes.  A tinge of chagrin is okay.)

Today I will discover my inner Naked Opera Star.  And embrace her, soap and all.