Not your average suburban mom. I’m more your typical, normal, commonplace, everyday, garden-variety suburban mom. With a thesaurus.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

"You tapped out, Kel, you tapped out."

Proof - "Party Pizza"

Scene: It is Saturday night and Brian is preparing to cook a Totino's personal pizza while I blog. #partylikeyou'remarriedwithchildren

Brian: *sneaks up and puts the ICE COLD pizza box on my bare (I'm wearing a tank top, chill out) back*

Kelly: *screams, spins around, and hits the pizza to the ground*

Brian: *looks incredulously at his frozen pizza on the floor* Why did you do that?

Kelly: WHAT THE HECK? THAT WAS SERIOUSLY COLD, DUDE.

Brian: Are you kidding me? I thought you could lift tires? Imma call Kemper and tell him you just punked out.

Kelly: I can lift tires, but that was yesterday, and today I'm sore and I need hugs.

Brian: *smirks* Whatever. You tapped out, Kel, you tapped out.

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