Weight Loss Update! *AND* Weight Loss Math Explained

This is Eve every.single.day. during math.

Math was never my strong suit. While I'm pretty good at fudging my way through an essay question (a.k.a perfecting the art of bs), basic ciphering was never natural for me. In fact, the last time I took a formal math class was in 11th grade - my junior year of high school.

"Wait. Kelly, do you mean to tell me you have a college degree in education and didn't have to take a single college level math class?"

Yep. That's exactly what I am telling you. (Although I did have to stumble through one college level science class - Physics of Sound - which almost killed me.)

But lest you think I have poor computation skills, I offer the following argument to prove I am qualified to write this post. As it is currently my third and fourth go-around, as a homeschooler I am nailing elementary school math.

My subtraction? Totally on point. My times tables - I got 'em up until the twelves. This may be because I have reviewed them daily with various children over the last four years, but whatever the reason - I'm kinda a big deal when it comes to basic arithmetic. Don't get too jealous now.

I've found that when it comes to weight loss, there are two vitally important calculation techniques that must be utilized for success. One is knowing greater than > and less than <. For example: 65>34, and 25<78. If you do not have a strong grasp on how numbers relate to one another, you cannot employ the mind game Teeter-Totter.

I double dog dare you to call me a Heffalump.

(Does everyone remember the teeter-totter? Remember riding that thing in elementary school? The whole purpose was to have a grand old time pushing yourself away from the ground and going up and down on that thrill of a ride. What really happened was the fat kid was made aware of just how fat they were as they slammed into the ground, killing their crotch in the process. Happy memories, no?)

Teeter-Totter is a mind game I totally made up and is completely meaningless and stupid one hundred percent useful for making yourself feel better using comparison techniques. Teeter-Totter is simply picturing yourself on a teeter-totter opposite something heavier than you. When I finally weighed less than my husband, my reaction was, "NOW I'LL BE ON THE 'UP' SIDE OF THE TEETER-TOTTER!" Hey, small victories are still victories.

The other really important math skill you need for weight loss success is the skill of rounding numbers. As a quick refresher, any number less than 5 in the ones column rounds down to the nearest ten. (Ex: 13 rounds to 10 and not 20) Any number 5 and greater rounds up to the nearest ten. (Ex: 17 rounds to 20 and not 10) This concept works on larger numbers as well.

So it is with all this in mind that I can say today that my weight finally rounds to 100 instead of 200. Because this week? I LOST THREE POUNDS. I went from 153 to my current weight of

149.7

My body fat went down 1% to 26.1%

I spent the entire week hoping for a weight of 151 on my weigh in day. I don't even know what to do with these results. I'm so happy. (Andrew, my decidedly Not Kemper replacement, was all, *doesn't say anything, just writes my results down*. So I filled in Kemper's voice saying, "Hell yeah!" which is exactly what he wrote me when I facebooked him later.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go lift heavy and eat more protein. Huzzah!