Yes, Kmart *is* a Michigan company.
Marketing done right.
Plus, I think I'm really twelve years old.
Plus, I think I'm really twelve years old.
|A stepmom would probably let her wear this to church.|
|Corpse pose. How the ultra fit work out.|
|I kid you not, I tried this. |
I failed miserably. But I tried.
|Brian took this picture of me before a 5k. True love is = taking a picture like this and keeping it on the|
camera so it accidently gets uploaded to the computer and randomly used as a desktop photo. Thank you, honey.
|Just remember, however you judge me Jesus is gonna judge you. Think about it, son.|
|Don't hate. You know you wish you had Mickey and pals on your basement walls.|
|For those of you who are questioning my self-proclaimed organization prowess, please note there are paths.|
|"Kelly, whaaa? Dang, gurl, where's all your crap?"|
Please note the fans, mop, and bucket.
|"Um, wow. You think maybe you took that cleaning thing a little too far? I mean, I think the walls are supposed to stay." Normally I'd agree with you. Generally I like to keep the walls up when I clean. I make exceptions for the BLACK MOLD we uncover when we discover the root of years of leaking. Don't worry, at this point we are bringing in the professionals. But Mickey is sadly evicted.|
|Do you see it on my kitchen window sill? Imagine that it is 11:00 p.m. and you are shutting the house down for the night. All the lights are off except for the light over the stove which is illuminating this spider that is brazenly parked in your kitchen. Your hubby, who is formally charged with killing things like this, is already in bed, so the task falls to you, oh Brave One, to save your family from this arachnid. You reach for a paper that is sitting on the "needs to go to the recycle bin" pile and use it to whack the creature with all your might. The creature ricochets off the paper and hits you in the face and you scream like a little girl but not too loud because all the kids are asleep and Dear God, don't let anyone wake up.|
Upon closer inspection, you see that the spider is really this:
|I think it's pretty rude, Random Screw Being Kept on the Window Sill By My Husband Just in Case We Need it for Something Someday, to pretend to be a spider. Also, because I am a responsible adult, I keep band aids in my purse for when I scrape my hand on a chair at Bible study. Because I am a mom, that is why it is a Dora band aid. Also, the screw is balancing on my hand in the weirdest position possible because Hosanna was my art director for this shot and this is how she posed me (so we could include the band aid.)(You try to fight an eight year old with artistic vision.)|
|Vegan Strawberry Cobbler, yo.|
|Scene of the crime. I may or may not have exercised|
my mommy bladder here. But I assure that if that did
happen, it was totally an accident.
|When we up in da club, all eyes on us.|
|If there was ever a moment I knew Pinterest would never fail me, it's the moment I discovered this shirt under the section of Humor (thankfully, and not under, you know, Women's Fashions). Pinterest, it's like you know me.|
|What I really wanted to find was a|
picture of Kid Rock drinking Faygo,
but apparently Kid Rock is mostly
photographed drinking beer. Which
is a bummer for this blog post.
|Hanging in my kitchen -|
Holly Hobbie celebrating
Mother's Day 1974. Boom.
|I'd like chocolate cake please, Mrs. Huxtable.|
|Smells like R.Kelly's sheets ... but it was 99 cents!|
|I think my glasses and choir uniform are proof enough that choir was *a pretty big deal* in 1991, but just in case you weren't convinced of the level of cool required to sing with a group of 8th graders, please draw your attention to my golden-ish heart necklace with "Kelly" scrawled in wire inside.|
|Further proof? Yes. That *is* a renaissance festival gown I'm wearing because we performed a dinner/concert thing every fall called Wassail Festival. I was totally on the Royal Court. Which? Was awesome.|
(And look at me werking it - rocking the over the shoulder pose at 16? A true prodigy.)
|This is probably my greatest moment in performance history (not even being sarcastic now, this is truly my high school legacy - that shizz was GOLD). We are doing "Love Shack" by the B-52's. I am so, so mad I can't find a picture with Corrie Beth as well. We were quite the trio.|